She was asked a simple interview question: “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?” Her answer stunned me. At 17, she travelled out of Nigeria with her boyfriend. Her parents never knew she’d left. But it was her next sentence that truly broke my heart: “My mum doesn’t know who I am or what I […]
Growing up in the 80s and 90s, many of us remember a familiar midnight ritual: a parent’s footsteps in the hallway, a door easing open, a quiet check that all was well. There were no mobile phones then. No tablets glowing under blankets. And yet, they checked. Not every old parenting style is obsolete. I
There’s a version of your child you’ll never meet again. The one who climbed into your bed during thunderstorms. Who told you about every scraped knee, every playground betrayal, every small fear. That child trusted you with their whole inner world. And then, somewhere between 13 and 16, the doors started closing. Most parents panic
Why the Strategy That Worked at 13 Is Failing You at 16 (And Leaving Your Teen Exposed) Read More »
Every 15th of May since 1994, the world pauses to mark the International Day of Families. It is not a day of cake and balloons. It is a day of reckoning — a moment to ask honestly how the smallest unit of our societies, the family, is faring under the weight of a fast-moving world.
International Day of Families 2026: Closing the Gap That Starts at Home Read More »
We’ve spent eleven weeks talking about what’s broken. We discussed toxic relatives who harm children. We explored cultural practices that enable abuse. We examined family dynamics that exploit the vulnerable. This final week is about what you’re building instead. The most powerful response to generational dysfunction isn’t just stopping the harm. It’s creating something better.
Here’s what nobody tells you about protecting your children from toxic family members: The protection doesn’t erase what already happened. Your child has already absorbed messages from relatives who hurt them. They’ve already witnessed harm. They’ve already learned patterns that will affect them. Setting boundaries stops future harm. But it doesn’t automatically undo past harm.
Healing While the Wound Is Still Fresh: Helping Children Recover From Family Trauma Read More »
This is one of the hardest situations you’ll face as a parent: Your child adores the uncle who makes inappropriate comments. They light up around the grandmother who constantly undermines you. They ask about the cousin who treats them terribly. They cry when you limit contact with the relative who you know is harmful. You’re
A childhood memory from Yola — and what it taught me about raising children Some childhood memories stay with you forever. This is one of mine. It is funny, dramatic, and surprisingly relevant to everything I now teach as a parent and teen coach. So sit back. Let me take you to Yola. Locked In
Throwback Thursday: The Python That Unlocked Our Freedom Read More »
“You’re making your children lose their culture.” “They won’t know where they come from.” “You’re raising them to be too Western.” “You’re ashamed of your heritage.” If you’ve set boundaries with toxic relatives or refused to participate in harmful cultural practices, you’ve probably heard these accusations. They’re designed to make you feel guilty, to make
Keeping Culture, Rejecting Harm: How to Pass Down Heritage Without Passing Down Toxicity Read More »
Setting boundaries with toxic relatives is one of the hardest things you’ll do as a parent. Not because it’s complicated—the actual action is usually quite simple. It’s hard because of everything that comes afterward: the guilt, the family pressure, the accusations, the social consequences, and your own internal conflict between protecting your children and maintaining
“But They’re Family”: How to Set Boundaries With Toxic Relatives (With Scripts) Read More »
