Last Thursday, I read a news report and had to put my phone down.
I sat in silence for a long time.
Come closer. Let me tell you what I saw.
The UK’s National Crime Agency announced that since October, they have identified more than 270 individuals linked to ONE online forum.
Not a forum for football.
Not a forum for business.
A forum where men allegedly taught each other how to drug and assault the women closest to them.
Their wives.
Their partners.
The women who fell asleep beside them every night, believing they were safe.
Are you following me?
Eight arrests have already been made in the UK. Fourteen investigations are ongoing here and abroad.
And it doesn’t end there.
A cross-border operation called Project Medusa — led by UK and German authorities, supported by Europol — has identified 156 perpetrators and survivors across SEVEN countries since April.
274 new investigative leads.
FOUR misogynistic online communities nobody even knew existed.
UK. Brazil. Canada. France. And beyond.
Read that again slowly.
“But Latifah, isn’t this a France problem?”
I hear you. Follow me closely.
When Gisèle Pelicot stood in that French courtroom and told the world the shame must change sides, many of us comforted ourselves with one dangerous lie:
“That could never happen here.”
My friend, the NCA has just shown us it is happening here.
It is happening everywhere.
One survivor told ITV News her former husband drugged and assaulted her for years while she slept. She only discovered later that he had secretly filmed it.
She does not know how far that content has travelled.
She may never know.
Sit with that for a moment.
Now, let me tell you why I could not stay silent.
I have spent over twenty years as a registered nurse, a midwife and a mental health nurse.
I have sat with survivors. I have held their hands. I have watched what betrayal of this magnitude does to a woman’s mind, her body, her ability to ever close her eyes in peace again.
And as a digital wellness expert, here is what keeps me awake at night:
We do not yet know whether teenagers have been exposed to these networks or this content.
But we DO know one thing.
Hear me and hear me well:
Misogyny is not born. It is downloaded.
One forum at a time.
One group chat at a time.
One “harmless joke” at a time.
The same online spaces that coached grown men into drugging their own wives are open on your son’s phone tonight.
Are we together?
So what do we do? Let me land with three lessons.
Lesson 1: Talk to your sons before the internet finishes talking to them.
Not one awkward lecture at sixteen.
An ongoing conversation from the doorstep years — about respect, about consent, about what real manhood looks like.
Silence is the soil where these communities grow.
Lesson 2: Believe women. Even without “proof.”
The police themselves have said it: you do not need a clear memory or evidence to seek help.
Unexplained grogginess. Missing hours. A partner who insists on preparing your food and drink.
If something feels wrong, it deserves attention — not explanation.
Lesson 3: Stop treating digital literacy as optional.
You cannot protect your family from rooms you refuse to enter.
Learn the platforms. Learn the warning signs. Learn that “he’s just on his phone” is sometimes the opening line of a story no parent wants to finish.
Let me leave you with this.
The NCA sent a clear message to these offenders: if you drug, assault, facilitate, record or coordinate these crimes online, you WILL be found.
My message is to the rest of us:
Awareness is armour.
Conversation is prevention.
And every home where respect is taught is a home these networks cannot reach.
Gisèle said the shame must change sides.
Let’s make sure it does.
Your friend in this fight,
Latifah
Latifah Ajetunmobi is a registered nurse, midwife and mental health nurse, digital wellness expert, author and parent-teen communication coach. Learn more at latifahajet.com.